It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care.Differences of opinion don’t destroy relationships – it’s how a couple deals with their inevitable differences that counts. Here’s how happy couples deal with disagreements differently. How often do the happiest couples talk or share new experiences? And are married couples happier than everyone else? Our infographic sums up the research behind a happy relationship. Habits of Happy Muslim Couples. What does it take to stay Muslim, married and extremely happy today? The marital relationship is an incredible blessing and divine sign, as Allah says in the Qur’an: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” ? What are those couples whose eyes exude deep love and contentment doing. They love each other for Allah’s sake. What does it mean to love each other for Allah’s sake? It means you make the love and obedience of Allah the basis and focus of your relationship with someone else. It means you love someone so much that you want your love for them to last beyond this lifetime and into the Hereafter, where you can live in eternal happiness with them having earned Allah’s pleasure together. It means you love someone purely because of how much they remind you of Allah and help you get closer to Him. Hold it right there. I know what you just thought: “but my wife/husband doesn’t remind me of Allah at all.”A lot of people who marry each other even for primarily religious reasons end up disappointed after marriage when they suddenly find their spouse not praying all the sunnah prayers (like they thought they would) or reading the Qur’an everyday or the morning and evening adhkar or fasting Mondays and Thursdays or being excited about attending halaqahs or praying tahajjud or doing something for the Ummah – like they thought they would. Our own restrictions of spirituality to acts of physical or outward worship blind us from seeing how much our spouses contribute to improving our character, which is an unsurpassed form of spiritual growth, because the Prophet says: “Nothing is placed on the Scale that is heavier than good character. Indeed the person with good character will have attained the rank of the person of fasting and prayer.” . They stop each other from anything that may lower them in the sight of Allah and constantly help each other win Allah’s love. Truly happy Muslim couples engage in winning Allah’s pleasure together whenever and in any way they can: they glorify Allah together in the quiet hours of Fajr, they thank Allah in tahajjud together, they make it a point to read a minimum amount of Qur’an everyday, they do regular or even random acts of kindness and charity and they maintain loving and happy ties with each other’s families. They are grateful for each other. The novel focuses on a promiscuous circle of ten couples in the small Massachusetts town of Tarbox. Traditional wedding anniversary gifts by year from first to 10th to 25th to 50th and beyond. Anniversary poems, anniversary stories, and party invitations and planning tips. Couples who've been married up to 50 years share their tricks to making wedlock work. These real-life couples have been in the marriage trenches and they're still laughing, smiling, having a ball. Here, their secrets to making. In a world full of competing demands for our attention: children, work, friends, etc., time for each other is a rare commodity for most married couples. Yet, without this opportunity for staying connected spouses drift apart. A collection of love, romance and relationships resources including advice, poetry, quotes, dedications, chat, horoscopes, romantic ideas, message boards, free love postcards and much more!! If there is one fundamental need that exists in every single human relationship, it is the need to feel relevant and appreciated. And there is no other relationship where this need is as grossly overlooked and abused, as in marriage. Is it because humans tend to take things for granted, especially when they’re done by those closest to them? When you’re newly married, every single thing your spouse does for you feels so special. As time goes by, your husband going out to work hard and earn for the family becomes normal; and a few years later it becomes “his duty anyway”. Similarly, every meal your new bride cooks is delightful, then somehow the salt always seems to keep getting lesser, till eventually she’s “not doing anyone a favor by just doing her job”. Sounds familiar? Oh yes, ungrateful Muslim spouse speaking right there! Happy Muslim couples live and breathe this hadith in their marriage: “He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.” ? Here are 5 reasons to thank your spouse right now: For providing you a roof to live under/for making a home out of your house. For buying you clothes to wear/for making sure you have clean clothes to wear everyday. For buying you the food you eat everyday/for making delicious meals for you everyday. For being there to take you where you need to go/for being there to take care of the house when you’re away. For coming back home to you every evening/for being the person you can come home to everyday. Allah says in the Qur’an: “. Happy Muslim couples keep getting happier because they simply implement the command of Allah in the above verse: They are grateful everyday for each other, so Allah increases the happiness they find in each other, just like He promised. The verse doesn’t end there though. The last half of the verse should send a chill down every married person’s spine: “? How many times have we denied all the good they’ve done for us through a single word or sentence in the middle of a senseless argument? Every conflict left unresolved, every hurtful word exchanged and every baseless complaint is a refusal to value one of Allah’s best gifts to us: a spouse. It is a denial of a favor Allah has blessed us with that many are longing for. And you don’t have to wait for the Hereafter to bear the consequences of such denial. Days of depression, frustration, anger, spite, lack of barakah (blessing), and even illness and hardships make life living hell for those who refuse to be grateful in their marriages. Allah also says in the Qur’an: “And as for your Lord’s favor, then discourse about it! There’s nothing better than internalizing the gratitude you feel towards your spouse; and there’s nothing more heart- warming for them to read than what you’ve written from the depths of your heart! They communicate like best friends. What a Whatsapp conversation looks like a few years into a typical marriage: “Need bread.” “K.”I mean, c’mon: “K”?? Not even an “o” to make that miserable “k” look a little less miserable?! What happens to married people’s manners, interest, enthusiasm and most importantly good assumptions when talking to their spouses? Is it okay to talk this way because you’re just so used to someone? Why do we not talk this way to people we’ve been friends with for years? What makes a spouse less- deserving of respect, enthusiasm and affection when no one deserves it more than them (except our parents) for choosing to live every single day with us? Why do we not talk to our spouses like we talk to our best friends, even though they are much closer to us than anyone will ever be? Happy Muslim couples talk like best friends, in good times and in conflict. In good times, they wait to tell each other about their day, they joke, laugh, share ideas, flirt, compliment each other, respect their spouse’s right to hold different opinions and learn from each other’s opposing points of view. They never desert love and respect for each other in conflict: this, is the key to staying happy in your marriage. They never lose focus of each other’s primary needs. What I’ve personally discovered through my own marriage and from those of all the people who’ve discussed marital issues with me, is that the primary reason for continuous marital stress and discord is almost always due to the neglect of a spouse’s primary needs. A lot of books (by Muslim and non- Muslim authors alike) tend to classify primary marital needs based on gender or a spouse’s role in the marriage. You must’ve definitely read about men’s primary needs being respect and physical satisfaction, and that women prioritize the need for love, verbal expression and emotional satisfaction. However true these classifications may seem in theory, they’re far from practical reality, because the truth is: both men and women need love, respect, physical and emotional satisfaction, just in different degrees and ways of expression. Men and women are equally human: Allah has created both genders with a sense of human dignity, with physical desires and with hearts that have feelings. When wives get snappy and say mean things to their spouses, husbandsdo feel hurt and unloved; and when husbands are rude and hurl insults at their spouses, wives do feel humiliated and disrespected. When a woman’s physical desires are consistently dismissed or left half- fulfilled, she feels as frustrated as a man in such situations does; and when a man never hears any words of appreciation or admiration, he feels as underappreciated and unvalued as a woman in these situations does. Every marriage is made up of two unique people of opposite genders. That’s why, what works for one couple may not necessarily work in your marriage, because you and your spouse are different people altogether with different preferences, priorities and circumstances. For this reason, generally accepted theories that may apply to many marriages may not apply to many others because different people are different. And happy Muslim couples have this figured out. It is extremely crucial for the health of your marriage that you sit down with your spouse and figure out what is important to them, and how they’ve always expected you to fulfill those needs for them. Here’s how to figure out and focus on fulfilling your spouse’s primary needs: Ask your spouse: “What is the one thing you cannot do without in this marriage?” Give them options to think about like love, respect, emotional or physical satisfaction, financial security, a peaceful or Islamic environment at home, etc. Ask them for examples of how they want these needs fulfilled: “How have you always expected me to do this for you?” Give them examples to help them figure out their preferences: ask them if they expect you to get small surprise gifts regularly, verbally compliment them more, take the initiative to pray or read and reflect on the Qur’an together, plan date nights, consult them before making a significant decision, talk to them in a certain way, dress up and prepare special surprise meals at home with the kids asleep, not say certain things in arguments, etc. Write down their needs and preferences. Make dua and sincere effort to fulfill your spouse’s primary needs: ask Allah to help you make your spouse happy, and then actively think of and create easy ways to do what is important to your spouse. They are the comfort of each other’s eyes. Happy Muslim couples strive to be the comfort of each other’s eyes. They seek to be the answer to the dua that Allah has taught us to make: “And those who say,? Wedding Anniversary Gifts by Year of Marriage. Congratulations on another year together! Deepening love and shared family memories are what make life special. We are here to help you find a great anniversary gift. By marking your wedding anniversary each year, you will build a loving tradition that you can both look forward to in the years to come. Happy- anniversary. You can't go wrong with a romantic gift, but certainly don't feel limited in choice. You know your wife or husband best, and they might also appreciate a practical, funny, or pampering gift. By matching the gift to the traditional materials for your anniversary year, you show forethought no matter what gift you give. We also group gift ideas into categories such as personalized gifts, romantic gifts, gift ideas for men, and more. Feel free to peruse our site however it is most useful for you. Whether you are planning a 5. If you need a last minute anniversary gift, we have you covered for that too. Your wedding anniversary brainstorming starts here!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
January 2017
Categories |